


RDR2: Falling for a Cowboy (Choices)- Arthur Morgan

by ATYPICAL28



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Cowboys, Eventual Smut, F/M, RDR2, Romance, Slow Burn, Western, rdr, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATYPICAL28/pseuds/ATYPICAL28
Summary: Tread lightly, for whatever you choose when a path is given, it can either end terribly wrong or perfectly wonderful.
Relationships: Abigail Roberts Marston/John Marston, Arthur Morgan & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 8





	1. Johanna Grey Matthews

"Jo! They're comin' home tonight!" a young boy bounded into the kitchen, hopping around excitedly. His face was lit up and a smile spread across it brightly, his blue eyes surrounded by little crinkles. He had rosy cheeks and freckles sprinkled along his button nose, which his older sister tweaked softly. He giggled and gave her a quick hug before rushing outside as though he were a dog waiting for his owner's arrival. Johanna was never quite sure how to act when he was in such a state, for her parents were always out of town, and she knew that they would end up leaving again. Whenever they got a letter that they were coming home, her brother, Scott, would get so excited it hurt. He never accepted that they would leave again, and Johanna didn't know how to tell him, which is why she kept it to herself. She couldn't bear to see him broken-hearted.

Being twenty-eight and having a seven-year old brother to look after on her own wasn't the best way to spend her adult days. Johanna, as much as she hated to admit it, didn't want to take care of him. She had practically begged her mother and father to stay and let her live her own life without having a child to look after. She wanted a family and a child of her own. She loved her brother dearly. Of course she did. She just wished she had help to care for him.

It wasn't easy having a job at the saloon while she looked after Scott. He had school when she had work, and they sometimes met up at the house at the same time, but other times, she needed to work late. Sometimes Scott would be left home alone, having to make himself supper before tucking himself into bed. He was afraid of being alone. He liked to be read a book before going to sleep. And nobody, as much as Johanna asked, would look after him. Even for a couple of hours. It was a tough life she lived.

Johanna often found herself outdoors, attending to the horses in the stable or writing in her journal in the hayloft. It was always a nice cozy place to spend the evening, especially when Scott was at school or taking a nap and she didn't have work. But as the days went on, she found that time to come less and less. Scott was growing up, and Johanna wasn't sure how she was going to handle that. 

Leaning against the table with a heavy sigh, Johanna wiped a hand over her face, tracing a finger across her cheek and biting on the tip of her nail. She did this whenever she was nervous, though her mother had mentioned on multiple occasions that it was a bad habit. But considering her mother was hardly ever there, Johanna always forgot and it became a more subconscious thing she did. What was she supposed to do? The question ran in her head nearly every day. How was she going to get out of this situation she seemed to be stuck in? She wasn't just going to abandon her brother. Their parents had already done that to both of them. Besides, it wasn't as if it was his fault. 

"Jo! Jo! They're here! I see the coach!" Scott shouted from the front yard. She looked out the window to see him jumping up and down on his heels, his lips curled into a grin. _Poor kid._ That was all Johanna could think as she drew in a slow and steady breath before making her way outside. Her insides twisted uncomfortably as she watched the horses and wagon pull up to the gate, and her parents stepped out.

Her mother wore a brilliant yellow dress and a feathered hat that looked far too expensive for her to afford, but the way she held herself, with a sense of power and pride suggested otherwise. Her father was right behind her, laughing at something the driver had said as he was paid handsomely. He wore a suit that also looked as if he had good money in his pocket, but Johanna knew it wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

Scott had already run up to the couple, throwing his arms around both of them and catching them by surprise. Her father was the first to pull back, patting his son on the shoulder and handing him something that must have been some sort of candy because he quickly shoved it in his mouth. Johanna didn't budge. A sudden anger and rage boiled in her and her fists clenched at her sides. 

"Shirley, dear!" Her mother approached her, arm extended to pull her into an embrace. Johanna allowed it, but didn't bother hugging her back. Why would she? Sometimes she felt as if she didn't even know this woman, and here she was, standing in front of her and pretending all was dandy. Her father was next, but he just gave her a warm smile and nod before following her mother inside, Scott staying back with an expression of concern written on his face,

"Jo? Are you alright?" Johanna just held up a hand to him and shook her head, giving him a soft smile of reassurance before walking off towards the back of the house. She needed some air. She always needed space and time to herself for a little while when her parents came back from a couple weeks trip. They never told her where they went, at least not that she had paid attention to. She didn't like listening to them either, for she felt they just wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay and they would lie to her again. They would be back soon enough. They would stay the next time for longer and Johanna could start living her life. She hated the lies. She hated how happy they always were, and part of her wished they would just stay away. Never return so that her mind wouldn't become slightly hopeful and then be crushed again. It wasn't fair. It especially wasn't fair to Scott.

Johanna found herself in the stable with her favorite horse; a beautiful Frisian with deep soulful eyes. He was the one thing that seemed to truly understand her, and as she fed him an apple, she cooed little nothing's into his ear. She planted a kiss on his muzzle and tried to pull back from the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. They prickled and she quickly rubbed her eyes in annoyance. She wasn't a crier. She never had been. She supposed it was because she found it hopeless. She didn't have anyone to talk to about what she was feeling more than half of the time, so why would crying come in handy? It was a useless emotion.

"I thought I may find you here," her father's rather cheerful voice rang in her ears. Johanna continued to stroke the horse, running her fingers through his name and focusing on his shimmering fur. Her father's footsteps stopped beside her and his hand reached up to move along the horse's neck too. 

"Camelot is a good horse, hmm?" Her father chuckled, obviously wanting his daughter to say something to him, but she remained silent. He always did this. He would pretend to have a moment with her. A little heart-to-heart conversation before taking her mother and running off like they always did.

"He's a trustworthy horse. I miss him very much," he sighed and Johanna finally turned to him, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find something to say. _He missed the_ horse?! _Is that all he misses?!_ He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, urging her to say what was on her mind, but she threw her arms up in defeat and stormed away towards the house. She wanted them to leave. Why had they even returned? Why did they come back to ruin everything? It was fine before they came home.

Johanna made her way to her room, throwing herself into her bed and sniffling. Her eyes were red and puffy when she got up and glanced at the mirror, her black hair sticking to her wet face. Moving it away, she looked down at her hands that trembled in her lap. She was tired of this. Tired of everything. She needed to get away, at least to clear her mind.

She grabbed her satchel and work attire, rushing downstairs and heading into the kitchen to find something decent to eat. She snatched an apple and was just about to leave when she overheard her parents talking in the other room, catching the middle of their conversation.

"-walked off as if I wasn't there," her father's voice. 

"Well you know how she is when we get home. Did you tell her?" her mother asked him in a hushed whisper. Her interest now peeked, Johanna leaned her ear against the wall, her breath hitching as she tried to keep herself from being detected. It wouldn't be the first time she eavesdropped on her parents, but most of the time she was caught for listening and she wouldn't get the information about the next trip they were going to take. She often thought about where they would go. Perhaps her parents had another life somewhere. Perhaps they were explorers that traveled around the world to take pictures. Whatever it was, she knew it probably wasn't as exciting as she made it out to be in her head.

"Why would I tell her? So she can go galloping off and leave Scott to die?" that was her father, and as the venom laced around his words sent a shiver through her bones, she wondered what he was talking about. How and why would she leave Scott to die? She had, after all, been caring for him since she herself since she was twenty-one. Why would she stop now?

"Good. We'll be gone by tomorrow. Leave nothing behind, or it won't work," her mother heaved a sigh of relief and the conversation ended in silence. _What are they talking about?_ Johanna frowned, running through the list of scenarios that now crowded her imagination. They were leaving tomorrow. They were leaving her with Scott tomorrow. Hearing the slight creak of her father's armchair, she jumped back and quickly rushed to the front door, snatching her coat and hat and closing the door behind her as quietly as she could.

The city was grey and gloomy as always, the smoke from the factories rising high above the buildings like black clouds. The sound of horse hooves on the cobblestone street and bells for the train reached her ears. She never liked the city. Unless it was the theater, then that was different. It made her feel like she had no problems in all the world. It was just her, the screen, and people around her feeling the same as she did when the show turned on. But as she made her way to the saloon, her parent's words echoed through her head over and over again. She pulled her coat around her as a gust of wind blew sharply across her face. The wind knocked her hat off and she yelped a bit, turning to pick it up, but someone else was quicker.

"Dropped this, miss," a deep voice said with a low chuckle, and she looked up to meet a pair of icy-blue eyes, soft and kind. She opened her mouth to say something, but it fell away on her lips as she examined his features further. A light dirty-blonde stubble stretched across his square jawline and his head was covered by an old brown cowboy hat. 

"Th-Thank you, mister," she finally found her voice, taking the hand from his hands carefully. She had never seen someone so mesmerizing, and as she stood to her full height, she realized how strongly built he was. It was a healthy fit, and she could just make out the muscle beneath the blue shirt he wore. She certainly wasn't as tall as him either, only coming up to his shoulder. The man stuck his thumbs in his belt, tilting his head at her curiously, as though taking her apart bit by bit. Her face flushed and she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, "I'm on my way to the saloon..." 

Why did she just tell him that? What did he care? She knew nothing about this man, and yet she was giving him information to where she was going to be the rest of the night. He only cleared his throat though, glancing over his shoulder and then back at her with a soft smile, "Are you asking me to buy you a drink, miss?" 

Johanna blinked, taken aback by his question. She thought for a moment,

"I work there." 

"Well, at least let me walk ya," he offered, motioning towards the end of the street where her destination was waiting for her. She nodded, thankful for the company. Neither said a word as they walked down the path, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. In fact, Johanna felt rather peaceful as this attractive stranger led her to the saloon. She dared to steal a few more glances at him as they neared her work. He had a very powerful demeanor around him, and she couldn't help but feel safe beside him. 

"Thank you again," she managed to get out when they reached the door. He grinned widely at her and nodded,

"O' course. Careful in there now. Men aroun' here ain't the best behaved." Winking, he left her to enter the saloon, her eyes still on him until he turned the corner. Now _that_ was a man she would like to get to know better. She shook the now forming ideas and fantasies out of her head and headed inside.

* * *

Her parents had indeed left the next day, and Scott wasn't feeling too well. He had laid in bed all afternoon while Johanna brought him soup and gave him a warm bath. He was running a fever, and Johanna wondered how the hell her parents could leave him in such a state. They had bade him farewell and promised to be back next week, thought he chances of that happening were low. 

"Jo...I don't feel so good," Scott coughed and sniffled as he propped himself up on the pillows she had gathered for him all around the house. She kneeled at his side and felt his forehead, frowning at how badly he was burning up.

"I want Mamma," he cried, tears streaming down his face. He then leaned over, throwing up his stomach and all of his breakfast. Johanna heaved a sigh and went to get a bucket and bowl of warm water to wipe him down. 

"Damn parents," she grumbled aloud, feeling her insides twist uncomfortably. She felt like she was missing something. That something was wrong. When she returned with the stuff, Scott wasn't in bed, but tangled in his blankets on the floor, shaking and trembling wildly. Johanna dropped the items she was carrying and went to his side quickly, trying to figure out what to do. The only time he had been sick was just with a simple cough or cold. This was different. Foam spewed from his mouth and Johanna covered her mouth as he stopped shaking. Tears fell from her eyes as she processed what was happening. He wasn't breathing.

"No. No Scottie. Stay with me," Johanna cradled him in her arms as she held him close. This had come out of nowhere. She knew she had to get him to the hospital. She carefully picked him up with as much strength as she could muster, but failed utterly, crying and falling to her knees. He was gone. Her little brother was gone.

* * *

"She killed him! She killed him!" Everything had happened so fast, as well as word around the city. Johanna had gotten a doctor, who had found that Scott had been poisoned. _Poisoned? How was that possible?_ Johanna had listened, thinking to herself the entire time. Could her parents have done this? Is that why they had left in such a hurry? Why would they have done such a thing?

Johanna now stood in court, answering questions about whether or not it was _her_ that had killed her little brother. She didn't know many people in the city. That was the first thing she realized as everyone quickly turned against her. 

"A witch!" "Hang her!" "Poison her too!" These were all the things that echoed in her ears as she was brought to the jail across the street. She had never imagined being cuffed and thrown into a cell. They had no proof. Her parents were out of town, and there was no evidence that they had left that day. Scott wouldn't have killed himself because he didn't know what poison was. He was too young to know. So she was now the killer, and she was to be hung by the evening. Johanna curled up in a ball in her cell, hiding her face in her knees. _This isn't happening. This can't be happening._

"Alright miss. C'mon," the sheriff said, coming up to the other side of the bars that kept her in. She nodded slowly, knowing it would only do more harm than good to fight. She was about to hang for something she didn't do. She was cuffed again and guided outside where the gallows waited for her, the rope dangling in a threatening way. She gulped down the feeling in her throat. The feeling like something was stuck and at any given moment she would choke out a sob. She was stronger than that.

"Such a shame," the officer sighed, helping her up the steps to the post. A crowd was already gathering, whispering among each other about how they must not have known her as well as they thought. It was true to Johanna, for everyone saw her as the innocent little girl who worked at the saloon and took care of her brother. Nobody knew her well enough to say she was smart and caring and daring. They only saw what was on the outside. 

"Hey! Stop that man!" Someone shouted and blew a whistle, guns firing and horses galloping reaching Johanna's ears. The sheriff let her go subconsciously, wondering what on God's Earth was going on. A man with a mask covering half his face was running down the street, seeming to be asking for the police's attention. He ducked behind a wooden crate shooting back. She looked around, realizing nobody was paying her anymore attention, their focus on the man who had started some unknown commotion. Something clicked inside her head and she took the chance to break into a run, struggling a bit with the handcuffs, but she could manage enough.

Her house was close enough to get to quickly as the men were running around the city. She made her way to the kitchen, opening a drawer and turning around the feel around for a spare pin her mother usually left in there. Once she found it, she skillfully unpicked her handcuffs and slipped them off, rubbing her wrists to get rid of the horrible feel. The gunshots were getting louder, closer to her house, and she rushed upstairs and grabbed a few things. She grabbed a brush, a small mirror, some money from her parent's safe (they had given her the combination when she was young in case of emergencies), a pair of clothes, and an apple and a can of pork n' beans. She also grabbed a knife from her father's wardrobe and glanced at his rifle that leaned against the inside too. She bit her bottom lip. She wasn't sure how to use one, but she might as well take it to defend herself the best way she could.

With her important essentials now packed and ready to go, she went out to the stable and clambered onto Camelot, not bothering to put a saddle on him as she had her satchel and gun slung over her body. She didn't hesitate any longer as she kicked him in the sides and held onto his black mane tightly. That's when she spotted them. A group of men sneaking onto the ferry, their eyes occasionally glancing back at the ruckus behind them. _What are they up to?_ Within seconds, she was down the street, nearly running into a man as he sprinted her way. He quickly apologized before continuing on, not even bothering to give her a good look. She looked back at the men that were now untying the ropes that connected to boat to the dock. She recognized one of them. The man from the day before, and before she could think it through, she turned Camelot and followed after him, not quite sure what her plan was, but somehow feeling she had no other choice.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738564)


	2. Shit Out of Luck

Johanna had brought Camelot onto the ferry, hiding him behind a large crate as more shots were now coming in her direction. They must have spotted the men. Before Johanna knew it, she was standing on the deck, having followed the man she had met earlier. He apparently hadn't seen her yet as far as she was concerned, and as she got behind something in order to avoid getting shot, she soon found out that he _had_ indeed seen her. He tugged her down to his side, shooting a few more times at the men on land as the ferry drifted slowly away. _Why on earth did I follow them? **Because you had nothing better to do.** But they're outlaws! **The town believes you're an outlaw too.**_

"What are you _doin'_ here?!" the blonde man snapped when he had finally gotten rid of the shooters. She opened her mouth to speak, but she was interrupted by a commotion from the other side of the boat, making the man groan in frustration and grasp her elbow to bring her along. He made sure to keep her behind him at all times so she couldn't potentially get hurt somehow, but Johanna didn't notice. She was led into a room where a group of men wearing bandannas were standing, the one in the center holding a woman around the neck as he pressed a gun to her head.

"Do it!" a man across from him snapped impatiently, his face reminding Johanna of a rat or some other rodent. The captain of the ferry had his hands up in surrender as the one holding the woman bared his teeth threateningly,

"Shut up, Micah."

"Please. Just let her go. I'll go wherever you want and I won't tell a soul what ya did," the captain tried to persuade him from killing the woman, tears streaming her face as she cried in fear. Johanna could see the fear visible in the one holding onto her too though, and she took a moment to examine his face. He looked somewhat...familiar. As though a fading memory in the back of her mind had had water poured on it, blurring the picture. He had greased back black hair and wore a white long sleeve shirt with a vest over it. He had a red bandanna unlike the other men, making him stand out easily.

"Just shoot her!" the one known as Micah growled, aiming a gun at the captain, who covered his face quickly. 

"Dutch! Don't!" the blonde man warned, holding out an arm to ease him, but then a shot rang out, followed by a scream. Micah gave an approving nod and turned to the captain, gesturing for him to take to the steering wheel. Johanna's heart must have skipped a beat as she stood there with her mouth hanging open. Dutch was standing there, panting heavily as he gazed down at the body of the woman, her body lying in a pool of her own blood. 

"Arthur..." he slowly raised his face to look at the blonde, who looked just as shocked as Johanna. The remaining group of men that she had completely forgotten about seemed to all be thinking the same thing. _Shit._ Everyone's eyes lingered on the dead body for another moment before raising to suspect Johanna, who wished more than anything to disappear.

"Who's that?" Dutch frowned, putting his gun away and tilting his head. Johanna suddenly felt her stomach drop. He just shot a woman for whatever reason, she didn't know, but as Micah began beating the poor captain, cursing at him to get a move on, Johanna took a few steps backwards, bumping into the door.

"She ain't done nothin'!" Arthur was quick to say as he looked at her, knowing how scared she must have been. Dutch gave him a questioning look and Arthur backed away towards her, but she shoved him away and rushed down the deck, intending to head back to shore, but it was too late. She was stuck on the damn ferry. That wasn't a good sign. That wasn't a good sign at all. Why had she followed the man? Why hadn't she just stayed to get hung?

"I'll kill her if you won't, Morgan!" Micah appeared from the room, scanning the boat before his eyes landed on Johanna and he quickly made his way over to her, his lips curling in a sneer. She froze, not sure what to do. This was it. She was about to die for being so stupid. 

"No! She was aboutta get hung, you sweatin' pig! She's tryin' to get away too!" Arthur yanked Micah back by the shoulder, holding up a fist to his face dangerously. Dutch emerged after a moment, casting a glance to the young woman who was staring with no emotion. Micah struggled against the muscular blonde while Dutch slowly made his way closer to Johanna. He removed his bandanna and held up his hands to show he wasn't holding anything, as though he was scared to frighten an animal. Johanna found her senses again and gulped, not sure what his intentions were.

"I ain't gonna hurt you, ma'am. We're just tryin' to get back home. I suppose you are too?" his voice was soft, caressing almost. Johanna only managed to shake her head before she stuttered out a response,

"N-No. I-I was ju-just goin'...I don't got no home no more..." she trailed off, feeling her eyes prick with tears. _What the hell are you crying for?! **He's about to kill me!** No he ain't! _Johanna shut up the voices bickering in her head and she focused on the man. Where had she seen him before? She picked at her memory desperately. Nothing. 

"Mind if I ask why you followed us on the ferry?" Dutch asked casually, motioning for the blonde to let Micah go. He was reluctant, but he did as he was told. Johanna shook her head and regained her composure, pointing at the man she had met before.

"I followed him...I met 'im yesterday and I w-was aboutta get hung and I had no plans so I just ran after him and I-" Dutch cut her off with a hand, moving closer to her and managing a soft smile.

"I understand miss. Now, we ain't gonna hurt you. Perhaps we could arrange for you to stay with us for a while. Arthur, you know this woman?" Dutch raised a brow at him questioningly, and for a second, Johanna could have sworn she spotted irritation in Morgan's face. He nodded stiffly and glanced at her, as though saying _did you have to mention that?_ But how had she known? How had she known that he was part of some gang? She suddenly felt weak in the knees. She had been imagining certain things with that man just the day before, and now she had just learned that he was an outlaw.

Questions spun in her head. They had boarded the ferry, most likely intending to rob it. Why? Why would they do something so dangerous? It was Blackwater! The most guarded city of the west, and yet here they were, risking their lives for who knew how much money. 

"Then you get to keep her company. Micah, go check on the rest of the gang and get Hosea. He'll know what to do," Dutch commanded without hesitation, casting one more annoyed look to Arthur before heading up to speak to the captain. Arthur rolled his eyes at the leader and approached Johanna carefully, his face suddenly contorted in pity and confusement. 

"Why'd ya have to follow _me_ , ya silly woman?" he couldn't help but chuckle as he brought a hand up to her face, seeming to be examining something, "Ya got a cut on your forehead. C'mere." Johanna found herself gazing into his aqua-blue eyes once again, his pupils widening ever so slightly as he brought out a hankerchief from his pocket, pouring a bit of an unknown liquid onto it.

"This may sting a little. Don't want it to get infected though," he was gentle as he dabbed at the wound, his eyes focused closely on what he was doing. Johanna, not knowing where to look, simply kept her eyes on his chest, considering it was eye-level with her. He certainly was tall. She traced the pattern on his plaid shirt with her eyes as he cleaned her cut up. When he was finished she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and whispered, "You didn't have to do that, Mr. Morgan."

"Please. Call me Arthur. And since you know my name, it's only fair I know yours in return?" he posed it as a question rather than a statement and she felt her cheeks flush as she told him,

"Johanna. Johanna Grey Matthews." Arthur's brow quirked with interest.

"Ya don't say? We got a-" he was cut off as Dutch appeared again, an older man at his side. His silver hair was combed back neatly and he wore a warm-looking coat around his frail body. She frowned at Arthur apologetically as he huffed in frustration. He got up to walk away, but the old man stopped him,

"Stay Arthur. Everyone's doing fine. We really hit the mother load. Now, I hear you was aboutta get hung? What for?"

Johanna chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, not feeling at all comfortable with how straight forward this man was, but she responded, "My brother...he was...poisoned. My parents...I was falsely accused. I would never kill him. I loved him like a son!" Her hands trembled with rage as she thought back to the previous day. My how things had turned around so quickly. The older man sensed her pain, though he kept it to himself as he looked down upon the young woman, wondering how she had the guts to even speak to them. She reminded her of someone, even though he had only known her for ten seconds. Perhaps it was her high cheek bones? Or maybe the way her brown hair fell down the side of her face on either side like a curtain.

"They'll be lookin' for her too," Dutch claimed, setting his hands on his hips and weighing his options. There didn't seem to be any other reasonable alternative except to kill her. He shivered, recalling what had happened only moments ago. That wasn't him, yet he had killed the innocent woman. He had done it with no emotion. His head had felt empty. He felt lost.

"Best she stays with us, Dutch," Hosea suggested, shifting to move closer to her. She met his soft gaze, feeling comforted due to how lit up his expression was. She then looked at Arthur, who wasn't quite sure how to react to anything. He was the next to speak though, 

"For how long?" _Does he want me gone so soon? Or does he hope for me to stay? **Why do you even care Johanna?** I'm not sure. **Yes you are. You like him.** Don't be ridiculous. _Johanna had spoken back and forth to herself often, not usually having anyone but her brother to talk to her. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She suddenly felt a heavy weight on her shoulders as if something were keeping her pushed down. It had all felt like a dream for the past two days, but in that moment, the reality came rushing back to her. Her brother was dead and her parents probably weren't going to bother looking for her. They had poisoned him anyway. Why would they?

"I'd like to speak with her first," Dutch said, nodding his head. Arthur furrowed his brows,

"I could stay with her. She's already been through a lot Dutch. I don't think a talk would be the best option."

"Well, might I suggest something else? Some _sleep_ for God's sake? Look how tired she looks. Try and be considerate of the young lady," Hosea lent her a hand, which she took gratefully to get to her feet. When he withdrew, she felt the warmth leave her, feeling hurt.

** *Choice* **

[Talk to Dutch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738588#workskin)

[Stay with Arthur](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738606#workskin)

[Get some rest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738624#workskin)


	3. Shit Out of Luck

**_Talk To Dutch_ **

"I'll speak with Dutch..." Johanna decided, though when she looked to the leader, she felt rather ill. She had to earn his trust, she knew that much, and she just prayed that she would make it out alive. She wasn't quite sure what he wanted to talk to her about, but a smile spread across his face at her choice and he offered her his arm, which she hesitated before linking her own arm around. Johanna knew a gentleman when she saw one, and this man surely did his best to be one. She glanced back at Hosea and Arthur, wondering if she had picked the right thing to do. Dutch must have sensed how uncomfortable she was because he cleared his throat and they stopped at the ledge of the boat. The waves were crashing roughly against the side as they continued on and the sky was blanketed in dark grey sheets of puffy clouds, suggesting rain.

"I'm sorry you had to see that back there..." he rested his hands on the ledge, his fingers clenching around it as he swayed a bit. For a moment, Johanna thought he was going to be sick, but then he straightened up and frowned at her, "That wasn't the real me back there. I'm afraid not all of us are the best of men. But all the same, we ain't bad either." 

Johanna nodded, shuffling her feet uncomfortably before opening her mouth to speak, but he wasn't done yet.

"If you're needin' a place to lay low for a while...we welcome you with open arms. We haven't properly been introduced. Dutch Van Der Linde," he held out his hand, which Johanna took with ease, his grip firm and somewhat comforting. She wasn't sure what she was walking into, and she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. She took his word about the gang being decent folk, not quite sure knowing why. Maybe it was the innocent mask he was wearing now, or maybe it was his charm. Either way, she felt this man may after all be trusting.

"Johanna Grey Matthews," she managed a forced smile, which didn't go unnoticed by Dutch, but he kept his mouth shut. He had had his fair share of uncomfortable moments with people in the past, and he knew how to turn their opinion on him around. He chuckled and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder,

"You and Hosea share your last name. Perhaps his wisdom will rub off on you. It surely has been helpful over the years. He's a good man, perhaps the best of us all." Johanna smiled, this time genuinely. _He isn't so bad after all._ She thought to herself as he returned the gesture. She then leaned over the edge, feeling the wind wisp in her hair. That's when she remembered what she had seen them doing before following them, and she spun on her heel, blurting out,

"You were robbin' the ferry!" Dutch was taken aback, not seeming to have realized the fact either, but he quickly brushed it off and responded with a heavy sigh,

"Ma'am, we ain't rich. And it'd be a lie to say we're good people. But we're true and honest. We do what's best for our families. Wouldn't you have done anythin' for yer little brother?" Johanna tensed at his suggestion and she thought this through for a moment. She wouldn't have robbed a ferry just because, that much was clear. But...for her brother? Of course she would have. She would have done anything to prevent him being killed by the poison. She stared into Dutch's eyes, as though trying to search for something. _I've seen those eyes before. Where have I seen those eyes before?_

"You're right...I would..." she trailed off and lowered her head, thinking of Scott. She felt anger bubble inside her, imagining one of her parents giving him the liquid that ended his life. _She_ had been to blame for something _they_ had done. She would have hung if this gang hadn't distracted the damn guard. It seemed almost impossible. 

"I see you've got quite a bit on your mind. Care to talk about it?" the leader asked softly, gaining back her attention. She smiled and shook her head,

"I don't understand why my parents would do such a thing to a little boy. He was always mine to care for. They were always out of town and _I_ mothered him. For most of his life....I would have suffered for somethin' I didn't even do."

"Would ya avenge him if given the chance?" Dutch whispered, inching closer to her. Johanna raised her head to look out at the sea again, spinning his question in her head. _Avenge. Would I? **Yes. Yes you would.** I've never harmed anyone before.... **You can start now. You can seek**_ **revenge _on your mother and father. You're already an outlaw._** _They'll be lookin' for me. **They're already lookin' for you.**_

"I'd do anythin' to make them pay," Johanna watched as the waves lapped at the walls of the ferry, the silence rushing of wind meeting the water as it followed them. She wasn't quite sure where they were going. Anywhere was better than Blackwater. Anywhere away from the life she had once had. The life where she raised her brother, spending day and night watching over him. He had once called her his guardian angel, rather than a sister. She never questioned it until now. She was no guardian angel. She clenched her fists. She would make them pay. She would find her parents and avenge the little boy she had raised as her own. They never cared for them. Now, she had a chance.

"Good," Dutch nodded beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder, "Perhaps stayin' with us is the best option. And who knows. You may just fit in perfectly." Johanna ignored the tears that pricked in her eyes as she turned to him, meeting his cautious eyes. They were filled with something she couldn't quite place. Something like sympathy and...revolt. She wondered what had brought him to leading a gang. What was his story? Before she could open her mouth to ask, Hosea walked up to them, eyes briefly landing on her before he focused on Dutch,

"You two done yet? I'm gettin' a lot of questions from everyone."

"I'd say we're done, yes. Miss Matthews, you go with Hosea. I'll be there in a few minutes," he smiled at them and Johanna accepted Hosea's hand as he led her towards the back of the boat. There was a group of men and women huddled up together behind some crates, murmuring among each other. She caught sight of a small stable area for horses, making a mental note to move Camelot there afterwards. Everyone grew silent when they spotted Johanna, eyes wide and full of curiosity.

"Gang, I'd like to introduce you to the newest member! She's going to be stayin' with us for a while until she can get back on her feet again," Hosea announced, his chest puffed out proudly. Johanna's cheeks flushed as a few girls jumped up and ran up to her, introducing themselves as Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Sadie. 

"Johanna Matthews," she responded shyly as everyone made their rounds. John, Bill, Pearson, Abigail, Molly, and Javier kept their distance at first, watching as Charles and Miss Grimshaw shook her hand, saying how much of a pleasure it was to have another woman with them. 

"Seems Dutch has gone soft," came a familiar hissing voice, which belonged to a figure leaning against the crate in the back, lingering in the shadows. He emerged, his face contorted into a sneer. Johanna shivered, not being able to take her eyes off him. He was _disgusting!_ His face was covered in sweat and dirt and his hair was slicked back with grease, as if he hadn't washed it in weeks.

"Shut up, Micah. No one asked you," John snapped, pulling his knees up to his chest as he sent Johanna a kind smile. She returned it and Hosea gently guided her to an open area where he kneeled down with her. She was handed a blanket and a can of peas. She clumsily popped open the lid and began eating slowly, savoring the wonderful taste. She had always loved her vegetables, even if she preferred meat.

"I'm gonna go talk to Dutch. You just get some rest now," Hosea placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder before getting up and walking away. Johanna was left sitting beside a young boy, his head tilted as he looked at her. His appearance made her smile. He was small with a patch of light brown hair on his head and his face was round like a little baby still. He blinked and pointed at himself,

"I'm Jack." Johanna found herself grinning,

"I'm Johanna. It's nice to meet you."

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738678#workskin)


	4. Shit Out of Luck

**_Stay With Arthur_ **

"I-I'll stay with Arthur. I'd like the company," Johanna averted her gaze from Dutch, who frowned just the tiniest bit before nodding and walking away with Hosea, who gave her one last smile. Arthur turned to her and shook his head, "I still can't believe it." Johanna blushed and leaned against the wall of the ferry, feeling the gentle rocking as it was carried on the water. She had never been on a boat before, and it made her a bit dizzy thinking about it. Arthur was still looking down at her, as though expecting her to say something, but she stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. _Why doesn't he speak?_ She shifted uncomfortably and he cleared his throat,

"We ain't good men, miss Matthews. And I sure as hell ain't the man you thought I was to begin with..." he trailed off and kneeled down to her level, running his fingers through his hair before putting his hat on. He really was handsome, his stubble growing out over his lip and on his cheeks. His eyes were a brilliant baby-blue that looked like they were mixed with specks of green in the light. She wanted to lean out and run her hands over his face, but she refrained from doing so and took in his words carefully.

"You're part of a gang," she nodded in agreement. _What does that matter? You're an outlaw. So what?_ She wasn't sure what made her think it, but she would have guessed that he was a better man than most. He scoffed and shook his head, moving his face to look out at the ocean that surrounded them, not a piece of land in sight anymore. She admired the way his hair blew gently in the breeze, a couple loose strands falling into his face. 

"That ain't the worst of it, miss Matthews. I'm a bad man. You'll get yerself hurt if ya stay here with us. You'll _see_ things you ain't ever seen. And Dutch...I don't know what's gotten into his damn head, but somethin's changed and I don't know what," he avoided her stare as she hesitantly took his hand in hers, rubbing the back of his knuckles softly. She had never felt more comfortable with anyone before, or safe. She hardly knew him, yet she felt that if she had the chance to get to know him, they would get along well.

"I ain't sure what you've done...and I ain't askin' to know....But everyone does bad things. And...everyone has another chance. I will admit, some people deserve death for their actions, but I don't think you're that kind of man," Johanna had always thought she was good at giving advice. She remembered the day Scott had come home from school, crying because someone had called him names. She had told him that everyone has certain ways to express the way they feel, but not everyone expresses it the right way, and he should go back to school the next day and turn the names being called to the punk of a kid in a good way. He had done so, coming home announcing that he had made a new friend and that the kid wasn't so bad because he had been through a tough time at home. 

She let her hand slip from Arthur's, missing how calloused they had been against hers. He finally heaved a deep sigh and looked at her, as though letting go had brought him back to the world. The corner of his mouth twitched a bit, but it didn't go unnoticed by her as he moved to sit beside her.

"Thank you. I ain't so sure you're right about me, but thank you. I grew up in this gang. They're my family, and I would do anythin' for them," he closed his eyes and his breathing became steady. They sat in silence for a while, the only sound coming from the water that bumped against the ferry. Johanna was thinking of her parents. How they had run away after...poisoning their own son. How could they have done that? How could they have done it as if giving him regular medicine? Didn't they feel guilty? Didn't they think that she would be blamed for it? What was their reasoning?

"What's wrong?" Arthur's voice asked softly, though it was deep and husky. Johanna nearly jumped to her feet with the fright he gave her, but she composed herself and blinked. She brought her knees to her chest, hugging them as if they were her only protection against the thoughts that were going through her mind. 

"How could they have killed him? He...he was like a son to me. _I_ was left to raise him. My parents were never around," she shook her head and ignored the sting of tears that threatened to spill. She wasn't as tough as she liked to be most of the time, and she had always found it easier to hide her feelings. After all, she wasn't going to spill them all onto her little brother when he hardly understood his own problems. Johanna felt his hand wrap around hers and for some reason, it triggered the tears. They streamed down her face like a little river and she cried. She didn't remember the last time she had cried in front of someone else before. 

"There are horrible people in our world, miss Matthews. Horrible people," he said gently, stroking the back of her hand as she had to him. She clenched her fingers of her other hand tightly, trying to calm herself down. She didn't like looking vulnerable to anyone. She usually came across as the tough woman when she worked in the saloon. _When_ she worked in the saloon. Her life was fading away before her eyes. She was alone in this world now. She had no one. 

When she ceased her crying, she sniffled and looked up at Arthur, his eyes staring down at their intertwined hands. He seemed to be deep in thought about something, but Johanna didn't want to pry. She hardly knew the man after all, even if she was throwing her pain on him. She wondered what he had gone through being in the gang. She wondered what everyone else was like. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought, and she suddenly felt...excited. Perhaps this was a good thing after all. Perhaps she could move on from the past and start off fresh. Live her life to the fullest. She was up on her feet just thinking about it and her face lit up.

"Miss Matthews?" Arthur stood up too, coming to stand in front of her, eyes full of obvious concern. She saw it all laying out in front of her. Then her smile suddenly faded as she looked up at Arthur with a worried expression,

"I...I'm going to find them. I'm going to find them and..." Johanna watched as the waves lapped at the walls of the ferry, the silence rushing of wind meeting the water as it followed them. She wasn't quite sure where they were going. Anywhere was better than Blackwater. Anywhere away from the life she had once had. The life where she raised her brother, spending day and night watching over him. He had once called her his guardian angel, rather than a sister. She never questioned it until now. She was no guardian angel. She clenched her fists. She would make them pay. She would find her parents and avenge the little boy she had raised as her own. They never cared for them. Now, she had a chance. 

"What are ya sayin' miss Matthews?" Arthur frowned, still not following her. She raised her chin to his face and smiled softly,

"Don't you understand? I'm already an outlaw. They'll be lookin' for me...I didn't do anythin'...yet. This is my chance. I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill them like they killed Scottie." Her tears were coming back, one slipping along her nose. She was about to wipe it away when Arthur did instead, his thumb gliding across her cheek to rid of it. His hand lingered under her chin as he studied her. His breath was warm on her face. His brows were knitted together as if trying to plead with her that it was a bad idea. He kept quiet though, tracing her features with his eyes. She hadn't realized she had been holding her breath until he pulled away,

"I've been there too, miss Matthews. I ain't gonna stop you...but I'm tellin' you...it won't bring him back. C'mon. I'll introduce you to everyone. You should get some sleep anyhow."

"Please. Call me Johanna," she whispered as she followed him. He only nodded as they walked to the end of the boat. There was a group of men and women huddled up together behind some crates, murmuring among each other. She caught sight of a small stable area for horses, making a mental note to move Camelot there afterwards. Everyone grew silent when they spotted Johanna, eyes wide and full of curiosity.

"I'd like to introduce you to Johanna Matthews! Treat 'er well, 'cause she'll be with us for a while," Arthur announced, getting everyone's attention. Johanna's cheeks flushed as a few girls jumped up and ran up to her, introducing themselves as Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Sadie. 

"It's a pleasure," she responded shyly as everyone made their rounds. John, Bill, Pearson, Abigail, Molly, and Javier kept their distance at first, watching as Charles and Miss Grimshaw shook her hand, saying how nice it was to have another woman with them. 

"Seems Arthur has gone soft," came a familiar hissing voice, which belonged to a figure leaning against the crate in the back, lingering in the shadows. He emerged, his face contorted into a sneer. Johanna shivered, not being able to take her eyes off him. He was _disgusting!_ His face was covered in sweat and dirt and his hair was slicked back with grease, as if he hadn't washed it in weeks.

"Shut up, Micah. No one asked you," John snapped, pulling his knees up to his chest as he sent Johanna a kind smile. She returned it and Arthur gently guided her to an open area where he kneeled down with her. She was handed a blanket and a can of peas. She clumsily popped open the lid and began eating slowly, savoring the wonderful taste. She had always loved her vegetables, even if she preferred meat.

"I'm gonna go talk to Dutch and Hosea. I'll see ya in the mornin'," Arthur managed a gentle smile before he got up and walked away, leaving her with the gang. Johanna was left sitting beside a young boy, his head tilted as he looked at her. His appearance made her smile. He was small with a patch of light brown hair on his head and his face was round like a little baby still. He blinked and pointed at himself,

"I'm Jack." Johanna found herself grinning,

"I'm Johanna. It's nice to meet you."

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738678#workskin)


	5. Shit Out of Luck

**_Get Some Rest_ **

"I think I'll...get some rest. I am rather tired," Johanna stiffled a yawn, not having realized how exhausted she was. Hosea smiled and nodded, lending her his arm to link to. She obliged and as he walked her towards the back of the boat, she glanced back at Dutch and Arthur, waving shyly at the two of them. 

There was a group of men and women huddled up together behind some crates, murmuring among each other. She caught sight of a small stable area for horses, making a mental note to move Camelot there afterwards. Everyone grew silent when they spotted Johanna, eyes wide and full of curiosity.

"Gang, I'd like to introduce you to the newest member! She's going to be stayin' with us for a while until she can get back on her feet again," Hosea announced, his chest puffed out proudly. Johanna's cheeks flushed as a few girls jumped up and ran up to her, introducing themselves as Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Sadie. 

"Johanna Matthews," she responded shyly as everyone made their rounds. John, Bill, Pearson, Abigail, Molly, and Javier kept their distance at first, watching as Charles and Miss Grimshaw shook her hand, saying how much of a pleasure it was to have another woman with them. 

"Seems Dutch has gone soft," came a familiar hissing voice, which belonged to a figure leaning against the crate in the back, lingering in the shadows. He emerged, his face contorted into a sneer. Johanna shivered, not being able to take her eyes off him. He was _disgusting!_ His face was covered in sweat and dirt and his hair was slicked back with grease, as if he hadn't washed it in weeks.

"Shut up, Micah. No one asked you," John snapped, pulling his knees up to his chest as he sent Johanna a kind smile. She returned it and Hosea gently guided her to an open area where he kneeled down with her. She was handed a blanket and a can of peas. She clumsily popped open the lid and began eating slowly, savoring the wonderful taste. She had always loved her vegetables, even if she preferred meat.

"I'm gonna go talk to Dutch. You just get some rest now," Hosea placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder before getting up and walking away. Johanna was left sitting beside a young boy, his head tilted as he looked at her. His appearance made her smile. He was small with a patch of light brown hair on his head and his face was round like a little baby still. He blinked and pointed at himself,

"I'm Jack." Johanna found herself grinning,

"I'm Johanna. It's nice to meet you." A young woman she had come to know as Abigail leaned over Jack, her voice lowered in a whisper,

"Where'd ya come from, if ya don't mind my askin'?" 

"Blackwater. I sort of...followed Mr. Morgan onto the boat..." Johanna responded as she leaned her head against one of the crates. Charles sat across from her, focused on making an arrow for the bow beside him. _A hunter. Suppose I could learn something from him?_ Johanna remembered the gun she had stored in her satchel and the rifle she had hidden in one of the crates near Camelot.

"What happened?" Abigail's interest was peeked, and she held Jack close to her in a motherly way. Johanna missed holding Scott that way. She blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes and drew in a deep breath.

"I was called into court for killin' my brother. It wasn't me....It was my mother and father. But they left town after poisionin' him. I cared for him most of his life....He may as well have been a son to me," Johanna's voice cracked at the last sentence, and she was thankful for Abigail's hand that reached for her own. She managed a sad smile and allowed her to go on, "So everyone thought it was me. I was aboutta get hung before the police started shootin' at someone. I went back to get anything useful and I suppose I was gonna leave town before-"

"You saw Arthur?" Abigail raised her eyebrows, as if it was the silliest thing to her. Johanna nodded.

"Well he was gettin' on board to rob the ferry, but why'd ya follow him? Unless you was plannin' to turn 'im in?" Abigail frowned, obviously not understanding why a woman would go after a man she didn't know, let alone one that was sneaking to get on a boat. Johanna couldn't help but laugh a bit, 

"I met him yesterday and I recognized him. I wasn't sure what I was gettin' myself into. I wasn't really thinkin' either." 

"He's real handsome," the mother said casually, causing Johanna to blush and turn away, pretending to admire the ocean around them, "How'd ya run into him?"

"I dropped my hat and he picked it up for me," Johanna shrugged as if it were no big deal, but Abigail's smirk said otherwise and she nudged the sleeping John beside her. He looked around in brief panic before shooting her a glare and barking,

"What is it woman!? Can't ya see I'm tryin' to sleep here?!" Abigail smacked his arm and whispered something to him that Johanna couldn't make out. John's eyes widened though and he gaped at her in surprise. He then grinned,

"Arthur ain't never been so kind to anyone before. He's a pain in the ass and usually comes off as not havin' a heart. Did he only pick up your hat yesterday?" _What is with these people?_ Johanna thought to herself. _Why are they bothering with the subject at all?_ **_Isn't it obvious?_**

"He walked me to the saloon...that's all..." her cheeks were probably getting red with every second that passed and she suddenly felt uncomfortable, shifting the slightest bit. _Well that didn't do shit._ John chuckled and put his hat over his face, "Oh that Arthur. Who woulda thought he'd have a soft spot for a city girl?" Abigail glanced at him with an annoyed expression, but only rolled her eyes and looked back to Johanna.

"Don't mind him. He's a fool, but he ain't the worst. Trust me, you stick to Mr. Morgan and you'll be fine," Abigail winked and ran her fingers through Jack's hair, humming something. She was younger than Johanna by at least ten years or so, but she had a feeling they would get along well. Even if she had no idea what she was thinking about her and Arthur.

"Whatcha gonna do about them parents of yours?" John asked as he rested his arms behind his head. Johanna hadn't even thought about that. She had been focusing more on the fact that she didn't have Scottie anymore. But as she considered what John said, she found herself picturing herself giving them a taste of their own medicine. Or _poison_ rather. She chewed on her bottom lip absentmindedly. She had never had these feelings before, and she looked down to see her nails digging into the palm of her hand. She wasn't sure when Abigail had let go of her hand, but now it was white as paper, clenched into a fist.

"You know what I'd do?" Abigail spoke up, her brows furrowed, "I'd find 'em and rip their meaningless heart out and feed it to 'em." _My this woman is tough._ Johanna had always thought she was tough, but she certainly wouldn't have thought of taking revenge on her own parents. But they had killed Scott. He was the one who kept her going. And he was gone. And she was alone.

"I'd do anythin' to make them pay," Johanna watched as the waves lapped at the walls of the ferry, the silence rushing of wind meeting the water as it followed them. She wasn't quite sure where they were going. Anywhere was better than Blackwater. Anywhere away from the life she had once had. The life where she raised her brother, spending day and night watching over him. She would make them pay. She would find her parents and avenge the little boy she had raised as her own. They never cared for them. Now, she had a chance.

Abigail smirked and nodded approvingly, "Welcome to the gang, miss Matthews. Welcome to the gang."

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738678#workskin)


	6. White Sheets

** *Arthur's POV* **

He headed over to Dutch and Hosea, who were talking quietly about something. Arthur couldn't quite make out the words until he got closer, but what he heard made his heart sink.

"-no other choice! I had to kill her! Don't you get that, Hosea?!" Dutch was angrier than Arthur had ever remembered seeing him before. His fists were clenched at his sides, and when he saw Arthur, he managed a smile, but he could tell it was forced. Hosea gave him a small nod as Arthur spoke up, glancing at Dutch with concern, 

"So what's the plan?" 

"Plan? I ain't got no plan right now Arthur! Not 'til we get to dry land! Shouldn't be long now..." Dutch kept his eyes off him, turning to face the sea. Hosea frowned and shook his head, putting a reassuring hand on Arthur's shoulder,

"Look, the important thing is, we got the money. He'll think of somethin'. I'm gonna go check on the captain." The old man walked away, leaving Arthur with the leader of the gang. He still had a faraway expression on his face and Arthur wasn't sure what to think. He had never done something like shoot an innocent woman for no reason. Micah had been the one to command him, but why had he listened? Not wanting to think more on the matter, he sighed and stood beside the man he had known for most of his life. 

"You alright?" he whispered, leaning on the edge of the boat. He hadn't particularly liked traveling by sea for too long, but when it came to fishing, he would have done anything to get some peace and quiet. 

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be? We got the money. That's what matters right now and gettin' it safely to land," Dutch scoffed as if it were the stupidest thing he had heard. Arthur shrugged and removed his journal from his satchel, sketching a drawing of Blackwater and focusing on the way the markings were left in a trail on the paper. He had always loved drawing and once he had been taught to read and write, he did that too. It was his passion, alongside horses that was. 

"Dutch!" Hosea was rushing down the steps from the captain's quarters, panting when he caught up to them, "We got a problem."

* * *

** *Johanna's POV* **

What do you mean the captain's _dead?!_ " Abigail snapped as Dutch and Hosea started explaining. He had been lying dead in the room for who knew how long. Micah's beating obviously hadn't done him well. Johanna was looking between everyone as they began panicking and cursing. Bill was trying to come up with a solution,

"Does anyone here know how to steer a damn boat?!" 

"Who the fuck would?! We ain't fishermen! Hosea! C'mon! You gotta know somethin'!" John butted in, pacing across the deck. Arthur made his way over to Johanna, probably having seen the look of pure horror on her face as she tried to determine what this meant. 

"Shit shit shit! Someone's followin' us!" Bill shouted, running to the side of the boat. Everything happened so fast. Gunshots were being fired and Johanna was being tugged along to the back of the ferry, being pressed rather roughly against the frame as Arthur aimed his sniper and shot at the unexpected visitors. This was not good. This wasn't good at all. She realized how close Arthur was to her, smelling something like wood and pipe tobacco on him.

"We need to jump!" Hosea instructed towards Dutch, who kept looking back at the deck. The other boat was getting closer and splashes could be heard.

"The money!" Dutch shouted back, hesitating.

"No time!" and before Johanna knew it, she was being pushed into the cold water and pulled into someone's arms as she coughed out salty liquid. She was freezing, and before she forgot, she whistled for Camelot, listening to the hard gallop of hooves before another large splash. 

"Come boy!" Johanna cried, not having the best vision. Thankfully, Arthur managed to somehow grab his reins and he helped her mount her horse. She was shivering so hard it looked at though she were having a seizure. She wasn't the only one who had brought her horse, and everyone began whistling for theirs too. Johanna scanned her surroundings, watching as everyone clambered onto their animals, little Jack crying as he held on to Abigail. Arthur got onto his horse and kept beside Johanna.

"To shore! To shore!" Dutch shouted, his voice being carried with the wind. There was land in the distance, most of it covered in pure white snow, and they made their way to it, intending to get away from the men that had started shooting at them. She tried to ignore the screams that followed, not sure what was going on behind her, and as she moved to look, Arthur gently redirected her face, shaking his head and continuing to the land.

* * *

"Those were Pinkertons!" Dutch was growling, moving through the thick snow. They had been running for a few hours already and Johanna's limbs were growing sore from sitting on Camelot for so long. Arthur had kept by her side the entire time, except when he went to help John retrieve wagons from the nearest town. They certainly hadn't been very lucky. They had lost the money and didn't have the best clothes for the weather. It was snowing harder and harder the further they climbed up the mountain and Johanna was thinking back to her warm house and civilized city. Why had she followed that damn cowboy?

"They shot Jenny...and Davey..." Dutch continued, as if speaking to himself. Nobody dared to say anything in his mournful state. Arthur and Johanna were behind him and Hosea, who was playing with the mane of his horse subconsciously. 

"Up there! I think I see a cabin," Hosea pointed out to Dutch. The leader peered through the darkness and nodded, making his way up the slope. Johanna had never been so cold before, and she could have sworn she was going to break he teeth if they kept chattering the way they were. 

"Here," Arthur began removing his jacket upon seeing her trembling like a terrified rabbit. She shook her head,

"No, mister Morgan. I-I'm f-f-fine." Arthur looked at her curiously and grinned,

"Say that again without shuddering and I'll believe you."

"I s-s- sh-shi-shit! I'm f-f-fine!" Johanna snapped, failing to prove herself. Arthur rolled his eyes and covered her up with his jacket anyway, and as soon as the warmth engulfed her, she didn't complain. he winked at her and rode ahead to speak to Dutch and Hosea, her insides fluttering. 

"I don't think I've ever seen Arthur treat a woman like that before," Abigail's voice interrupted the thoughts that were now forming in her head. She shot her a look and shrugged,

"He just saw I was cold is all..."

Abigail just scoffed and nodded with a grin, "Whatever you say." Johanna was then left alone and she looked behind her and down the mountain. She had never dreamed of anything like this. She wondered what they would with her once they had gotten where they wanted to go. She was only along for the ride after all. It was her fault she was situated with these people. In this gang that she had never heard of. She wasn't one to believe in fate, but the idea of having followed Arthur and surviving those _Pinkertons_ as she had heard, she couldn't help but feel like this may have been where she was supposed to be, as silly as it may have sounded.

They made it to the cabin, which luckily was deserted. Hosea helped Johanna inside, resting her on a cot that looked as if it hadn't been used in weeks. She watched as the gang began to unload their things and settle in the abandoned building, Dutch giving commands to bring everything inside and to start a fire. Arthur came inside, whispering something to Dutch and nodding before making his way over to Johanna. 

"You gonna be okay here for a while? I got to go out and find Micah and John," he managed a soft smile and Johanna returned it, removing his coat and handing it to him. He raised a brow and went to hand it back to her, but she gave him a stern look,

"You'll catch your death out there! I'm fine, see? No shuddering!" Arthur laughed and nodded, turning and focusing on Dutch, who had removed his hat and was standing with his head lowered.

"I know it's been hard. For all of us. We've lost loved ones...and now it seems...we have no hope. But I can assure you all, that we _will_ get through this. One way or another. Jenny...Davey...If I could put myself in their place...I would. But now we need to be strong. If not for us, for them! So everyone just settle in. We won't be here long, but we need to keep ourselves hidden. Until things die down a bit. I'll have a plan soon. For now, Bill, Arthur, and I are goin' out to find Micah and John," with that, he walked outside with the two said men behind him and mounted his horse, the white steed disappearing in the white sheets of snow.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738717#workskin)


	7. Good Vs. Bad

** *Arthur's POV* **

Dutch, Bill, and Arthur had rode out right into a blizzard, the cold air stinging his cheeks like needles. _Perfect. Just perfect. Exactly what I need right now. First I help an innocent woman, then she finds her way onto the ferry, and now I'm stuck feelin' guilty! Why on earth did she follow us? What was it about her that made her so daring and brave? She clearly saw the way we were dressed and that we were robbin' the boat...and yet...she still came after_ me. _She came after me of all people to follow. I just don't understand._ These were the thoughts that ran through his head as he managed to get his horse through the thick snow. 

"I see a light! Up there!" Dutch called back to him and Bill, bringing Arthur back to reality. There was a house in the distance, lights shining gloomily through the windows. They approached the building and dismounted, Dutch ushering them into a shed nearby as he walked up to the house casually. Gunshots could be heard inside, and Arthur glanced at Bill, who looked back with concern. _Shit. O'Driscolls. You better be smart 'bout this, Dutch!_

"Who the hell are you?!" a man opened the front door, and Dutch raised his hands in surrender, laughing in a innocent greeting.

"I ain't askin' for trouble. I got lost a little ways north and was hopin' to find some shelter," he was good at playing dumb, but the man just scoffed and aimed his gun at him, giving the cue to shoot.

Arthur aimed and shot, reloaded, shot again until the men were down. There were so many of them for one little house. What were they doing? Robbing the place? He made his way inside, killing the last two men that were indeed looting the cabinets and drawers. 

"Don't come near me!" a voice snapped. _Great. Another woman._ Dutch was the one to approach her, calming her down as Arthur looked around. A middle-aged man that was dressed as a farmer lay dead on the ground, and Arthur heaved a sigh. They had killed her husband most likely.

"They killed him! Those _bastards!_ " she spat, shoving Dutch away. Arthur frowned and glanced at Dutch for instructions.

"Check the barn," he suggested, shrugging. Arthur just shook his head in annoyance and then nodded in defeat. _Why is it always me?_ He made his way through the snow and towards the barn, coming face-to-face with another man. _Shit._ He growled and punched the man in the face,

"What'd ya do back there! You and your friends robbed them poor folk?!" The man cowered in fear, backing up as he covered his now bleeding face. Arthur raised his fist threateningly, but the man whimpered and shook his head,

"Okay okay! It weren't my fault! We was sent to kill 'em!" Arthur rolled his eyes and debated against beating him or letting him go. The horse in the stall was kicking at the ground impatiently, wanting to get let out and Arthur licked his lips, feeling stuck.

"Found one?" Dutch entered the barn, but Arthur kept his eyes on the man, "Your call, Arthur."

** *Choice* **

[Let the man go](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738738#workskin)

[Kill the man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738756#workskin)


	8. Good Vs. Bad

**_Let The Man Go_ **

Arthur grumbled under his breath and took a step back, motioning to the barn door, "Get outta here. NOW! Before I change my mind!" The man looked at him in fear and appreciation before running outside. He looked at Dutch and shrugged, but the leader didn't react, heading outside himself, "C'mon. We should be headin' back. John will have to wait..."

Arthur sighed and helped the horse out of the stable, stroking its neck in order to calm it and mounting it. He then headed outside where Dutch and Bill waited for him, along with the new woman that he knew now as Sadie Adler. _Poor girl._ He helped her onto the back of his new horse and followed Dutch and Bill through the snow once again.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738795#workskin)


	9. Good Vs. Bad

**_Kill The Man_ **

Arthur delivered a blow to the man, making him grunt in pain. He then removed his gun from his belt, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The man fell to the ground with a loud thump and Arthur stared at him for what could have been forever, watching the blood pool around him. It was moments like these where Arthur questioned himself. Who he was and why he was such a bad man sometimes.

He looked at Dutch, who gave him a soft smile and walked outside, leaving Arthur with the stressed horse. He approached the animal and patted its neck, frowning at his mistakes and cooing hushed words to it. He then mounted it and headed after Dutch. Bill and him waited, along with the new woman that he knew now as Sadie Adler. _Poor girl._ He helped her onto the back of his new horse and followed through the snow once again.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738828#workskin)


	10. Not the Same

**_Good Arthur_ **

Johanna snuggled under the blankets on her cot, thinking of how she came to be here once again. She had been in Blackwater one moment, tending to Scott, and the next thing she knew, she was being held up with the Dutch Van Der Linde gang. _Why did that man have to pick up my hat? Why did I feel so drawn to him? Why the hell did I follow him!_ She sniffled from the cold and sat up just in time to see Arthur Morgan walk in, helping a woman she hadn't yet seen. She was thanking the blonde man as he guided her over to Ms. Grimshaw, who shook her head,

"These poor women. Oh, Arthur, check on Ms. Matthews, will you?" Arthur turned to face her, making her face flush. He made his way over and cleared his throat. He didn't speak though, not until she shifted uncomfortably.

"How you holdin' up?" he said softly, but she brushed his question away and asked one of her own,

"You weren't cold, I hope?" Arthur smiled and shook his head, gesturing to his warm fuzzy jacket. Before she knew it, he had draped it around her once again and sighed.

"It's been a rough couple of days. We still didn't find John and I reckon it'll be a while before we get off this God damn mountain. How's the gang been treatin' ya?" he quirked a brow and Johanna grinned, shrugging,

"Fine. I think Hosea's the most understanding. Bill don't seem to like me much. All of the women are nice, even lent me a pair of clothes. _Micah_ on the other hand..." she leaned closer so she could whisper, "He gets too close. Gives me the chills." Arthur laughed at that and nodded,

"He gives everyone the chills, 'cept Dutch apparently." He then frowned and looked around for the leader himself. He was in the doorway, trying to calm a hysterical Abigail down. She punched him in the chest and went back to her corner with Jack.

"Listen...your brother...I'm sorry about what happened. I had a son once..." Arthur lowered his head shamefully as Johanna gaped at him. She hadn't thought he would be so open with her so soon, and her heart went out to him at his words. She carefully took his hand in her own and rubbed his knuckles gently. He lifted his sea-blue eyes to hers and she could see the tears that threatened to spill. _This grown ass man is going to cry in front of me? Jesus. What has this gang done to him?_

"What was his name?" Johanna asked carefully, not wanting to cross the line. 

"Isaac," he whispered his name as though it would hurt if he said it too loud. Johanna nodded her head slowly, still not wanting to pry, even if she was curious. Did that mean he had had a wife? Surely he had _loved_ someone, but marriage was a whole other thing. It was the start of a bigger relationship.

"It's a lovely name. How old was he?" She decided to keep the questions focused only on his son, not wanting to stray too far off the path.

"Eighteen," he nearly choked on the word and Johanna quickly grasped his shoulders as he began to tremble. She shouldn't have asked. God, this man was falling apart in front of her!

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I'm sure he loved you," Johanna offered instead, cupping his cheek and wiping a single tear from his cheek. She was thankful that most of the gang was asleep, otherwise there would be chatter. That was the last thing she needed. It wasn't as if they were falling for one another. _I doubt it. I just met him! But those eyes. And that gentle expression. How could someone look so tough on the outside, but have a teddy-bear softness on the inside?_ He straightened up and frowned deeply,

"Maybe. I wasn't the best father though, and I doubt I'll ever have kids again."

"How could you say such a thing?! You never know! You're a good man," Johanna whispered, nudging him softly. He chuckled a bit and blinked at her, as if seeing her clearly for the first time.

"I ain't so sure you're right, but thank you. Now, you really should get some rest," and with that, he planted a ginger kiss on the back of her hand and walked over to Dutch, who had no idea that he had just opened himself up to one of the newest women of the gang.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738828#workskin)


	11. Not the Same

**_Bad Arthur_ **

Johanna snuggled under the blankets on her cot, thinking of how she came to be here once again. She had been in Blackwater one moment, tending to Scott, and the next thing she knew, she was being held up with the Dutch Van Der Linde gang. _Why did that man have to pick up my hat? Why did I feel so drawn to him? Why the hell did I follow him!_ She sniffled from the cold and sat up just in time to see Arthur Morgan walk in, helping a woman she hadn't yet seen. She was thanking the blonde man as he guided her over to Ms. Grimshaw, who shook her head,

"These poor women. Oh, Arthur, check on Ms. Matthews, will you?" Arthur turned to face her, making her face flush. He made his way over and cleared his throat. He didn't speak though, not until she shifted uncomfortably.

"You alright?" he said softly, but she brushed his question away and asked one of her own,

"You weren't cold, I hope?" Arthur smiled and shook his head, gesturing to his warm fuzzy jacket that she had handed back to him before he left. She missed the warmth of it, but kept it to herself as he scanned the room with a worried expression.

"It's been a rough couple of days. We still didn't find John and I reckon it'll be a while before we get off this God damn mountain. I...I killed a man out there..." he frowned deeply, not looking directly at her. Her heart was pounding in her chest at his words. _Killed a man? How could_ he _, Arthur Morgan, have killed a man? He seemed like such a different person when I met him._

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Arthur laughed dryly at that and she motioned for him to sit on the edge of the cot. He obliged, still keeping his gaze trained on the members of the gang that were still awake.

"I don't think I really had a choice." He then frowned and looked around for the leader. He was in the doorway, trying to calm a hysterical Abigail down. She punched him in the chest and went back to her corner with Jack.

"Of course you did!" Arthur lowered his head shamefully as Johanna spoke in a loud whisper at him. She hadn't thought he would be capable of such things., and her heart went out to him because he really believed he didn't have a choice. Everyone has a choice. She carefully took his hand in her own and rubbed his knuckles gently. He lifted his sea-blue eyes to hers and she could see the tears that threatened to spill. _This grown ass man is going to cry in front of me? Jesus. What has this gang done to him? Why did he feel like he didn't have a choice when it came to murdering someone?_

"Did someone make you?" Johanna asked carefully, not wanting to cross the line. 

"No. Well, Dutch was hoverin' right over me. But I can't blame him," he whispered as though it would hurt if he spoke too loud. Johanna nodded her head slowly, still not wanting to pry, even if she was curious. Did that mean he was intimidated by Dutch? Pressured to do something he didn't want to? Did he really _want_ to kill the man at the time?

"Listen, Arthur. Everyone has a choice." She gave him a sad smile, suddenly thinking of her parents and what they had done to Scott. They had had a choice. They didn't have to kill him. But they had, and she had been blamed for it. She had nearly _hung_ for it!

"I ain't a good man," he nearly choked on the word and Johanna quickly grasped his shoulders as he began to tremble. She shouldn't have said anything. This man was breaking down in from of her, crumbling like an old brick wall.

"It'll be okay, Arthur," Johanna offered, cupping his cheek and wiping a single tear from his cheek. She was thankful that most of the gang was asleep, otherwise there would be chatter. That was the last thing she needed. It wasn't as if they were falling for one another. _I doubt it. I just met him! But those eyes. And that gentle expression. How could someone like him have killed a man?_ He straightened up and frowned deeply,

"Maybe. But it'll only get worse. It just ain't the same."

"How could you say such a thing?! You're a good man, and I refuse to believe otherwise!" Johanna whispered, nudging him softly. He chuckled a bit and blinked at her, as if seeing her clearly for the first time.

"I ain't so sure you're right, but thank you. Now, you really should get some rest," and with that, he got up and carefully took his hand away from hers. She was hurt by the action, but she stayed put as she watched him walk away towards Dutch. She wasn't sure what had become of this man she hardly knew, but she intended on making it better. Making _him_ better.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738828#workskin)


	12. Obvious?

Johanna was helping some of the men load up the wagons, thankful that they were finally getting off the freezing mountain. It had only been a few days, but she was glad that she would be meeting the warmth soon. They had found John, or rather Arthur and Javier did. He had been attacked by a pack of wolves, leaving him a souvenir of three scars across his right cheek. Abigail had wanted to slap him across the face, but she scolded him instead, saying he had left her and Jack. _As if he had had a choice!_ Johanna wasn't sure if she liked the woman very much after all, but she did like little Jack. He had been so sweet to her.

It was Sadie that Johanna was drawn to. She had lost her husband to the gang that Dutch and Arthur had been whispering the previous night while she lay on her cot, curled up in the blankets. _What're we gonna do about them O'Driscolls?_ Arthur had asked in a hushed voice. _What else can we do? We take 'em out before we leave. Tomorrow. Once we're all packed and ready to go._ Sadie had also overheard, telling the men she wanted to go with them to get her revenge. Her husband had been killed by those men. It was only right that she took a few of the members out.

_"No. Absolutely not!"_ Dutch had told her, putting his foot down. He was already protective of someone they had only just saved. She was like Johanna. Lost and now a part of the gang. Johanna still wasn't quite sure if she wanted to be part of the gang though. Yes, she felt welcomed and they had treated her more than well. But she wanted to find her parents. _Do you even know where you're gonna to start. **No.** Then how are you gonna to find them? **I'll ask around.** Nobody will listen to you. **I'll find some help.** From who? The gang? **Who knows? Arthur might help me.**_

"I want to go too! God damn it, Dutch! _Please!_ They killed my husband!" Sadie was arguing with the leader again, her fists clenched at her sides. Arthur shook his head beside the older man and glanced in Johanna's direction, frowning and seeming to ask her with his eyes if she could do something. She walked over to them and rested a hand on Sadie's shoulder,

"They'll take care of it." Sadie frowned and shook her head, brushing her away and sulking back inside. Dutch smiled softly at her and nodded his thank you. He then headed back to his tent and Johanna was left standing in front of Arthur, his head down as he seemed to think to think of something to say. He didn't need to though. She already knew what he was thinking. After what he did the other night, he knew he didn't feel like he had a choice.

"Be careful, alright?" she took his hand in hers like the night before and rubbed his knuckles. He sighed heavily and nodded,

"I will, Johanna. I uh...should get goin' now."

* * *

Johanna and the women had helped finish loading everything up. All they had to do now was wait for the rest of the gang to get back from their mission. She stroked Camelot and fed him a sugar cube, cooing softly to him as someone approached her from behind.

"What do ya think about the gang, Ms. Matthews?" she turned to see Hosea, a soft smile on his face. She chuckled lightly,

"I'm just glad I didn't end up followin' a bunch a Pinkertons." The old man nodded in amusement and put his hands in his pockets, lowering his head to hide a smirk, but Johanna saw it and laughed,

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothin'! Nothin' at all! I was just uh...wonderin' what ya think of Arthur..." Hosea trailed off, grinning widely at her. Johanna felt a shiver run up her spine as he said the cowboy's name. She would be lying if she said he wasn't attractive. The way his muscles popped perfectly out from under his shirt, or the way his eyes shone in the morning sunlight. Oh yes. He was quite a man.

"Mr. Morgan is a good man I think," Johanna smiled, trying not to show her excitement on the topic.

"Uh huh. Right. Well, they should be here soon," Hosea winked at her, making her blush and walked off towards the wagons. Then she heard the sound of horse's hooves and looked up to see Arthur hopping off his horse and approaching her. He smiled softly,

"You ready to go?"

"Now I am. How was it? Is anyone hurt? Are you okay?" Johanna asked, now checking him over for any wounds. Surprisingly, he had none. _There probably weren't as many as they thought there would be._

"Everyone is okay. _I'm_ okay too. Come on, it's time to get goin'," Arthur offered her a hand and she shyly took it as he led her towards one of the wagons.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738915)


	13. New Camp

Johanna couldn't contain her laughter as Arthur grumbled, hopping off the wagon to fix the wheel that fell off when moving across the stream. Hosea gave her an amused grin as he raised a brow at Arthur, who wasn't paying attention to her giggles. He got back on, taking the reins and glancing at her,

"Now, may I ask what's so funny, Ms. Matthews?" Johanna snorted, covering her mouth quickly as Arthur's brows shot up. She waved a hand at him dismissively and drew in a steady breath, wiping the tears of joy that filled her eyes. 

"You're funny! The wheel pops off and you start cursin' under your breath! You certainly have a temper, don't ya?" Johanna chuckled, having contained herself a bit more as they started on again. It was nice to have the warm sun on her back after spending days in the snow. The grass was so green, little flowers sprouting on the side of the road, waving at her in the gentle breeze. Arthur scoffed and turned to Hosea, who was riding his horse on the side, pretending like he hadn't heard a word of what was said.

"Do you hear this woman, Hosea?!" 

"I don't know what you mean, Arthur. The lady's simply statin' the truth!" the old man piped up, clicking and making his horse ride further up the road. Charles, who had also stuck with them, rode up beside the old man and left Arthur and Johanna alone. She had turned a deep shade of red due to her laughter, and as Arthur looked back at her, she felt the heat rise even more. 

"You're somethin' else, Ms. Matthews," he shook his head.

"I know," she stated proudly, lifting her chin. This time, it was Arthur's turn to laugh, resulting in a playful punch in the arm and more laughter from Johanna.

* * *

The camp was perfect! Granted, it may have seemed small once they got there, but when everything was set up, it proved to be a good spot after all. June had organized a tent that had been given to her right beside Arthur's, claiming that everywhere else was taken.

"You got space to set up next to John!" he suggested when he saw her approach with the fabric in her arms. She frowned and shook her head,

"He snores. Besides, why do you care where I sleep?" In all honesty, she enjoyed pestering him, and she couldn't shake the drawn feeling she had towards him. He rolled his eyes and hung up a photograph on his wagon, leaving her alone as she got situated. Once she was satisfied, she made her way over to the fire that had been built and licked her lips as a bowl of stew was placed in her hands. Pearson smiled warmly at her as she shoveled a mouthful in her mouth. The meat was tender and sweet and the spices mixed well. She noticed Jack sitting beside the fire, poking at the dirt with a stick.

She leaned over and whispered,

"Whatcha drawin'?" Jack grinned,

"A flower for my mama. See?" He pointed at the petals and stem. She nodded and tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Wanna make her a flower crown?" Johanna had made the little things when she was little, and when she spotted a patch of daises, she had decided to make some later. Now would be the perfect time. Jack nodded enthusiastically and she reached out a hand for him to take. He did so willingly and she led him the the patch beside her tent. They both sat down and she plucked a few of the flowers, laying them aside and showing him how to intertwine the stems. 

"First you take one and make a little hole through the stem like this. That's right. Now take the next flower and insert that stem and....There! You got it. And just keep doing that until you like the size," she grinned and started on her own crown. Once they were done, Jack giggled and held his up proudly. Johanna clapped and set her own crown on her head, watching as he leapt to his feet and went to find his mother. _Sweet kid._

"What a teacher you are!" Arthur's voice sent a shiver down her spine and he emerged from behind his wagon. _How long has he been standing there? I don't remember seeing him walk back over here._ He chuckled as she quickly removed the flowers from her head, not wanting to come across as childish. All in all, she _was_ childish. Having a younger brother to care for when she was growing up was probably the cause of that. He was the only real company she really had. 

"It was nothing," Johanna brushed aside his comment and stood up, cleaning herself off as he took a step closer, tilting his head.

"Nothing? Jack ain't much of a talker. Says a few words here and there, but I ain't never seen him warm up to someone so quick," Arthur smiled and Johanna lowered her head bashfully. She looked back up after a moment, blue eyes meeting her own aqua ones. _Baby blue. Sky blue. Ocean blue. All in one. Beautiful._

"So uh....How you holdin' up? After..." Arthur trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward as he scratched his chin and studied her face. She frowned and shrugged, not really having an answer for him. She had been thinking a lot about Scott since it happened, but she wasn't one to dwell in the past. It was over now. She couldn't control what happened. _But you can avenge what happened._

"Arthur? Would you...would you do me a favor?" Johanna blurted out as the thought hit her. He quirked a brow and leaned against a tree, picking at his nails.

"Depends. What's the favor?" he asked casually. She licked her lips nervously before checking if anyone was nearby. She didn't want to be a burden to anyone. But she still needed help.

"My parents poisoned my brother," she whispered, so quiet she thought she would have to repeat it. Arthur straightened up at her words and gaped at her.

"How do you know?" He looked at her as if she had grown two heads. As if it were the craziest thing he had ever heard. For some reason, this angered her, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I didn't kill me brother. I know the smell of poison. One of my parents gave it to him before they...before they left," Johanna kicked at a rock at her feet. She wasn't sure what was going on through Arthur's head, but she wanted him to believe her. He had to believe her. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she held them back angrily.

* * *

** *Arthur's POV* **

_This poor woman. Losing her little brother to her own parents?! It didn't add up! What kind of people killed their own son?_ His insides twisted at his thoughts. He had had a son. Long ago. He never would have killed him, and yet, he felt it was his fault that he was gone. What kind of parent could bare the news of their child's death? It was inhumane! He took a step towards Johanna and reached out to take her hand in his. This was becoming a regular thing now, and he almost grinned at the idea. 

"You want to find them," it wasn't a question. It was a statement. He knew the feeling all too well. She wanted to get back at the ones that took the dearest thing from her. The thing that held her together. It was what Mary had done for him. Made him feel...whole. And after she left, she had left him shattered in a million pieces. Johanna merely nodded and drew in a steady breath. She had lowered her head again and he could tell she was trying to fight back the tears. He knew that feeling too.

"I'll do what I can," he said quietly, "I'll do what I can."

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738945#workskin)


	14. A Bit of a Hunt

Johanna was talking to Arthur still when Hosea approached them, smiling at Johanna and tipping his hat to Arthur.

"Mind if I steal her from you for a while? Unless of course you'd care to come along," Hosea said, winking at the cowboy. He tilted his head ever so slightly and tucked his thumbs in his gun belt.

"Where ya plannin' on takin' her?" he asked, glancing at Johanna.

"Huntin'! She needs to learn how to use a gun if she's gonna stay with us," he removed a small pistol from his holster and tossed it to Johanna, who caught it with ease. Arthur chuckled and took his revolver from his belt and swung it around his finger.

"I'm in. What say you, Ms. Matthews?"

** *Choice* **

[Go with Hosea only](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738963#workskin)

[Have Arthur come along too](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69738981#workskin)


	15. A Bit of a Hunt

_**Go With Hosea Only** _

"I think I'll just go with Hosea. I'll talk to you later, Mr. Morgan," Johanna felt the heat rise in her cheeks as he smiled at her and nodded in understanding. Hosea shrugged and led the way to the horses. 

"You two seem to be gettin' along," Hosea commented as he mounted his horse. Johanna followed suit and a smile played on her lips. The older man glanced back at her and chuckled,

"I'm only teasin', dear. Now, just up this way. I spotted a nice clearing just coming in earlier. Nice spot, ain't it?"

"It's beautiful," Johanna agreed, holding the gun in her hand. She wasn't sure if she was ready to use a weapon yet, but she knew she would have to get used to it. She wasn't sure how long she was going to stay. Hopefully she would be able to get back on her feet soon. They came to the clearing and Hosea dismounted, helping Johanna off Camelot and walking off to set a bottle down along with a target that he pinned to the tree.

"Ready?" Hosea chimed brightly. Johanna nodded sternly and pointed the gun at the spot.

"Alright, remember to breath. It ain't gonna bite ya. Now steady. Here, stand like this," Hosea aligned her arms right and set her feet apart so that she was turned towards the target. She closed one of her eyes and Hosea clicked his tongue,

"Open both of 'em if you can. It's easier to see your target. Now, when you're ready-" Johanna pulled the trigger, the loud bang cutting him off. She nicked the edge of the tree and she jumped, surprised at the force that pushed her back from the gun. Her arms trembled and she laughed nervously.

"How was that?" she asked. Hosea clapped his hands and nodded,

"Well done. Somehow I'm not surprised you hit it on the first try. Again. And once we're done, I'll get us some deer and we can head back to camp. Sound like a plan?"

"Sure does!" Johanna chirped, aiming at the tree again.

* * *

Johanna had practiced for about a half hour before they took a little break. Hosea had brought two cans of beans and a couple apples. She enjoyed the canned food. Something she was used to, considering she had never learned to cook. Once they had finished, Hosea got to his feet and helped her up too.

"You really have a talent young lady," he said, "Reminds me of my wife. She was very good with a gun. Quick learner too."

"I've been told that. When I was growin' up," Johanna smiled softly. A twig snapped behind them and they spun around. Two wolves stood there, circling in the bushes like sharks.

"Uh-oh. Don't panic. Stay very. Calm," Hosea commanded gently. Johanna wasn't sure if he was talking softly so as not to startle the wolves or to not startle her. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she watched them come closer. She aimed her gun and waited for Hosea's cue. They were slowly backing away towards their horses, Hosea putting a protective arm out in front of her.

He then slowly loaded his rifle and cocked it.

"When I tell you to run...you run," he said to her, keeping his eyes on the wolves.

"I ain't leavin' you!" Johanna snapped back, careful so as not to speak too loudly.

"Run!" he shouted at her, taking a shot and hitting the side. It stumbled a bit before clambering back to it's feet and running at them. Johanna stood frozen, but regained herself when Hosea bumped into her. She reached for her gun as he yelled at her to get on Camelot. She couldn't hear him though. It was here and now. The wolf leapt up, jaw opened and revealing a set of sharp white teeth, claws ready to tear the old man apart. She took the shot, keeping herself steady as the wolf collapsed with a thump. 

Hosea shoved her back and continued shooting at the other one. It fell too, the silence filling the air. 

"You...you saved me," Hosea said, shocked. She smiled bashfully and jumped when he embraced her. She tensed a bit at the contact. She wasn't used to hugs, even from her brother. After a moment, he pulled back and she nodded.

"C'mon. Let's get back to camp," he suggested, picking up one of the wolves and carrying it over to his horse. Johanna followed, content with her day of practice.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69739011#workskin)


	16. A Bit of a Hunt

_**Have Arthur Come Along Too** _

"Sure! You can come along!" Johanna piped up, cheeks flushing brightly. He chuckled and nodded, leading the way to the horses. Once mounted, Hosea glanced back at the two, smiling to himself. He had a good feeling about this woman, and wondered if Arthur did too.

"You two seem to be gettin' along," Hosea commented. Johanna looked at Arthur who was riding beside her and lowered her head sheepishly. Their eyes met and Hosea glanced back at them.

"I'm only teasin' you two. Now, just up this way. I spotted a nice clearing just coming in earlier. Like the camp, Arthur?"

"It's beautiful," Arthur agreed, looking at Johanna as he said the word. Luckily she hadn't caught his gaze on her, but she had surely felt it. They came to the clearing and Arthur dismounted, helping Johanna off Camelot and walking off to set a bottle down along with a target that he pinned to the tree.

"Ready?" Hosea chimed brightly. Johanna nodded sternly and pointed the gun at the spot.

"Alright, remember to breath. It ain't gonna bite ya. Now steady. Here, stand like this," Hosea said playfully. She rolled her eyes and jumped when Arthur appeared behind her. His body pressed against hers as he took her arms and aligned them. He then set her feet apart so that she was turned towards the target. She could feel his breath on her neck and she drew in a sharp breath. _God this man is intoxicating._

"Open both of 'em if you can. It's easier to see your target. Now, when you're ready-" Johanna pulled the trigger, the loud bang cutting him off. She nicked the edge of the tree and she jumped, surprised at the force that pushed her back from the gun. Her arms trembled and she laughed nervously.

"How was that?" she asked. Arthur clapped his hands and nodded,

"Well done. Somehow I'm not surprised you hit it on the first try. Again." Johanna aimed at the target and took another shot.

* * *

Johanna had practiced for about a half hour before they took a little break. Hosea had brought two cans of beans and a couple apples. She enjoyed the canned food. Something she was used to, considering she had never learned to cook. Once they had finished,she got to her feet and pulled her gun from her pocket. She admired the silver and carved handle. It was a buck as far as she could tell, though the mark wasn't very deep.

"You did really well," Arthur said behind her. She spun around to face him and held her breath. The sunlight gleamed through three trees, hitting his face just right so that it looked like he was glowing. A twig snapped behind them and they spun around. Two wolves stood there, circling in the bushes like sharks.

"Uh-oh. Don't panic. Stay very. Calm," Hosea commanded gently. Johanna wasn't sure if he was talking softly so as not to startle the wolves or to not startle her. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she watched them come closer. She aimed her gun and waited for Hosea's cue. They were slowly backing away towards their horses, Arthur putting a protective arm out in front of her.

He then slowly loaded his rifle and cocked it.

"When I tell you to run...you run," he said to her, keeping his eyes on the wolves.

"I ain't leavin' you two! I can help!" Johanna snapped back, careful so as not to speak too loudly.

"Now ain't the time! Run!" he shouted at her, taking a shot and hitting the side of the wolf. It stumbled a bit before clambering back to it's feet and running at them. Johanna stood frozen, but regained herself when Arthur bumped into her. She reached for her gun as he yelled at her to get on Camelot. She couldn't hear him though. It was here and now. The wolf leapt up, jaw opened and revealing a set of sharp white teeth, claws ready to tear the cowboy apart. She took the shot, keeping herself steady as the wolf collapsed with a thump. Hosea let out a gasp and ran over to the two of them. 

Hosea shoved her back and continued shooting at the other one. It fell too, the silence filling the air. 

"Well shit," Arthur said, shocked. She smiled bashfully as he grinned down at her. He was obviously very impressed with her performance, and she felt pretty good about it

"C'mon. Let's get back to camp. You alright, Hosea?" he looked over his shoulder at the older man, who was picking up one of the wolves and carrying it over to his horse.

"You bet. This one's a fast learner. She's a keeper!" Hosea smirked, looking between the two of them. Arthur laughed and nodded,

"Sure is." Johanna followed, content with her day of practice.

[Next Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459632/chapters/69739032#workskin)


	17. Stories By the Fire

** *Arthur's POV* **

_She seems to have had a well-deserved time with Hosea. They came back just a while ago, laughing about how their trip went. As soon as I heard about the wolves attacking, I was quick to approach them and see if they were alright. Well...I figured Hosea was...but I knew I should've made sure she was alright too. And as soon as I saw that smile grace her lovely features, it was clear she was fine. More than fine in fact. She's fitting in perfectly around here. I just want her to stay longer. But what would she stay here for? Why not go find another life? One that's more secure and safe? One where she won't get hurt? What's keepin' her here?_ Arthur snapped his journal closed as he glanced over to where everyone was gathering around the fire. His gaze landed on Hosea and Johanna, who had their arms wrapped around each other like old friends. Arthur grinned sheepishly to himself as he got up to join them.

"You shoulda seen her! The wolf advanced, comin' in close. I thought I was a goner!" Hosea was saying, the enthusiasm clear in his voice. Arthur's brows shot up as he took a beer bottle from one of the supply crates. He sat down on the log beside the fire, loving the warmth that spread over his bones instantly. Johanna giggled and rolled her eyes,

"It weren't _that_ heroic, Hosea." The old man laughed and shook his head,

"Oh, but it were! You been here not too long and you showed your loyalty for the gang today, Ms. _Matthews._ A true Matthews at that!" He raised his bottle and Dutch came out of his tent to see what the commotion was, his thumbs caught in his belt buckle as he listened to the group cheer. Even John cheered, which was surprising to Arthur. 

"Sounds like it were a thrill!" Dutch boomed happily, grinning from ear-to-ear. Johanna lowered her head, and Arthur wondered if it was to hide the blush that was probably creeping onto her cheeks. When she looked up, his eyes landed on his and his heart skipped a beat. Hazel eyes. Soft and untamed. She was truly beautiful. 

"To Ms. Matthews!" Arthur felt the world daze around him as they simply stared at each other. Her face contorted into concentration, brow furrowed as she tilted her head. A small smile played on her lips and Arthur felt his ears burning. He had never met someone so wonderful before. So brave and spirited. Not since Mary anyhow...but she was his past now. Now he had to move on...and was it possible...that if Johanna Matthews stayed...that it could be her that he moved on with? _Ridiculous. Why would she fall for me? I haven't made any moves that would make her think..._ Arthur took a swig of his beer and shook his head, moving to get up. A hand on his shoulder stopped him however and he looked up to see Johanna had approached him, teeth shimmering in the dancing fire light as she smiled.

"Where do ya think you're goin', cowboy?" she teased lightly, making him chuckle. He took his hat off his head and whispered so that no one else could hear,

"Nice to know you had a good time." Johanna held his gaze for a moment longer before looking around and grabbing his sleeve. He was taken aback as he practically dragged him towards the cliffside. Nobody had seemed to notice her absence, which confused him because she was pretty much the life of the party. In his eyes anyways...

"I think I missed you more than I can admit..." she said softly as she pulled him down to sit beside her. He let out a soft grunt and noticed how much she was swaying. _Is she...drunk?_

"Ms. Matthews?" Arthur piped up, taking her trembling hands in his. She giggled and purred in his ear, sending a shiver down his spine,

" _Johanna,_ Arthur Morgan." He frowned as he shook his head.

" _Johanna_ , then. Um...a-are you feelin' alright?" She looked down at their hands and the light seemed to fade from her eyes. Tears shimmered within them and he drew in a sharp breath. _That's why she_ 's _been drinking..._ He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head on his chest, sobbing softly as he hesitated before combing her hair back. _Is this wrong to be holding her like this?_ He wondered to himself as he tried to figure out what to say to her. Should he ask? 

"Johanna...? Y-You don't have to answer this...but is it your brother?" 

"Yes..." she said quietly. Arthur felt a lump rise in his throat as he pulled back just enough to look at her. She wiped her face and sniffled. 

"I-I'm sorry, Arthur...I j-just feel so...torn. I want to s-stay here...I really do....B-But I need to...I need to find my parents," she withdrew herself from Arthur's arms and lowered her head. This was where Arthur wanted to tell her that everything would be alright. That he would protect her and stay by her side. That he would help her find her parents. But...he wanted her to know that he cared. That he would support her every decision. 

"Why would you stay? What do you have here?" He cradled her face in his hands and she leaned into it, making his insides twist. _She's drunk. She won't remember my touch tomorrow morning._

"You're here, Arthur Morgan," she sighed as she began to drift off. He held her in his arms as she slept, listening to the stories that were being told by the campfire. Nobody would want to see her leave...especially him.


	18. Stories By the Fire

** *Arthur's POV* **

_Johanna really proved how loyal she was today. She stood up for Hosea and killed that wolf before it got it's claws into him. It was the bravest thing I'd ever seen anyone do. I still don't understand why she did it. Was it because it was Hosea? Was it because she truly believed it wad the right thing to do? I mean...it_ was _the right thing to do. But why did she do it? There was no hesitation. No regret written on her perfect features when Hosea stared at her, breathless from her actions._ Arthur snapped his journal closed and made his way over to where the group was sitting by the fire. Hosea had an arm around Johanna, grinning widely as he spoke in his story-telling voice,

"You shoulda seen her! The wolf advanced, comin' in close. I thought I was a goner!" Hosea was saying, the enthusiasm clear in his voice. Arthur's brows shot up as he took a beer bottle from one of the supply crates. He sat down on the log beside the fire, loving the warmth that spread over his bones instantly. Johanna giggled and rolled her eyes,

"It weren't _that_ heroic, Hosea." The old man laughed and shook his head,

"Oh, but it were! You been here not too long and you showed your loyalty for the gang today, Ms. _Matthews._ A true Matthews at that!" He raised his bottle and Dutch came out of his tent to see what the commotion was, his thumbs caught in his belt buckle as he listened to the group cheer. Even John cheered, which was surprising to Arthur. He chuckled and got to his feet,

"She's pretty handy with a gun too, I'll give 'er that." Johanna nudged him playfully in the arm and he felt his ears burn,

"Oh shut up, Arthur. I was horrible!"

"In the beginning, sure," Arthur shrugged, setting down his beer bottle, "But once you got the hang of it, you learned faster than me!" Hosea burst into laughter,

"Ain't that the truth?" 

"Sounds like Ms. Matthews is learnin' her place?" Dutch asked, taking a seat on a chair. Johanna lowered her head bashfully and the leader chuckled lightly, "She's a keeper!" Arthur caught Johanna's gaze again and a smile played on her lips as he smirked. He had never fallen so hard for someone's eyes alone. The hazel of her eyes and the way the fire danced inside them. She was truly beautiful, and he suddenly feared in letting her go...He knew she still wanted to find her parents to avenge her brother...There was nothing that was going to keep her here. He knew that. But...he just _hoped_ that something would change her mind.

"Arthur?" Johanna asked, tilting her head. He came out of his daze and looked up at her, realizing how close she was now. He admired the way her chestnut-brown hair cascaded along the side of her face in a frame-like way. The way the light caught her features perfectly. He even spotted a few light freckles here and there.

"I-I'm alright," he said, clearing his throat and getting to his feet, "I just need a breather..." He started towards the edge of the cliff, his head spinning with questions and thoughts. It wasn't right if she left. If she left, then he would be devastated. But how was he to tell her that? He leaned his back against the tree and closed his eyes. He thought back to Mary. He had let her go. No...she had let _him_ go...but now...he had a choice. He could let Johanna get away from her, or he could try and keep her there. But how would that be fair on her part? He wasn't completely sure of his feelings...it was just...a feeling. 

"Arthur...?" Johanna's voice rang out, making him open his eyes and look up at her. He started getting up, but she shook her head and dismissed it, sitting down beside him instead. 

"What can I do for you, Ms. Matthews?" Arthur asked softly, making himself comfortable again. She fiddled with her hands for a moment and Arthur found himself wanting to reach out and take one of them in his hands. But he refrained from doing so as she licked her lips nervously before whispering,

"I don't know what to do, Arthur. I want to stay here..." she looked back towards the fire where the group was laughing and having a good time, "But-" 

"You still need to find your parents," Arthur confirmed quietly. She nodded and then frowned and took Arthur's hand. _She never ceases to surprise me..._

"What would you stay here for...?" Arthur asked, not daring to look her in the eyes. Silence was lost between them as Arthur tightened his grip on her hand ever so slightly. He didn't want to let her go. He could never let her go. 

"You're here, Arthur Morgan..." she whispered, making his heart skip a beat. _That's what I was afraid of..._


End file.
